2008 and Life Resolution: The Merging

Following my stock-taking of accomplishments as per the resolutions set in the beginning of the year, it's now time to lay out what 2008 is likely to usher in. It has been quite a mixed bag as far as 2007 goes, though I managed to stay true on some chosen goals, especially those on the spiritual side of things.

Personally, I still have some way to go in terms of temperament, the failure to put a lid on it often manifest in raised voice and impatience, principally because I still cannot let go of the self. And the person who feels most keenly my lack of self control is none other than wify. Somehow we seem to be more patient with friends and colleagues, and not those closest to us. If a question gets asked once too many, we bark the answer back, the delivery of which becomes a rude awakening even to ourselves in hindsight.

So this will be my first resolution for 2008. In fact, let it be the only resolution. Because everything else will fall into place once we stay on even keel. But that's the easy bit, setting the resolution. The tough part is realizing it. Just merely mouthing or penning the resolution does not mean that it will come to fruition on its own. I need to set strategies, think them through, thinking ahead is forearmed, while reacting only invites tension and strained relation at best.

First, I would have to think less of myself, diminishing the propensity for self-centered thinking. Removing the self from the mix often changes the perspective, enabling the reign of rationality leading to considered response.

Second, I would have to put myself in others' shoes. In that way, it becomes easier to understand why an action will evoke a particular response, thereby engendering empathy and facilitating the forging of compromises.

Third, I would have to listen more. Since one can't possibly talk and listen at the same time, it will curtail the time of admiring one's own voice, and in the process, make communication a decidedly two-way process.

Last but not the least, I would have to discontinue my tendency to indulge in wise cracks and sardonic remarks. Such utterances may seem innocuous at the time, but a feeling hurt is sometimes so camouflaged as to escape our notice during the heady moment. And instead of establishing rapport, they might just alienate people.

All these can best be summed up in a word: compassion. In a nutshell, I resolve to be a compassionate person in the Buddhist sense of the word, not merely for the sake of feeling good. Not only for the new year, but from this very moment onward, rendering it a life resolution.